It's been a looooooooooooooooooooooong time since I've actually posted a DreamBlog and I've got a few minutes here at work so I figured I'd post one of my dreams from last night.

Remember: this is only a dream...

I'm pacing up and down the aisle of a bus. A family member is driving the bus and a friend is sitting near the back. Neither of my bus companions are actually real people from my waking life, and yet I recognize and understand my relation to them. They have no real identifiable facial or bodily features, yet somehow I just know that the driver is an older male family member (not a brother or a father, but something that immediate) and the other passenger is a close friend. I'm not really that confused by the fact that I know these people and yet I don't. It all just makes sense within the dream and I don't question it. I just keep pacing, looking out the windows.

The bus is traveling down a straight dirt road between a field of corn on the left side and a forest on the right.

I walk down the aisle to the front of the bus and place my hand upon the driver's shoulder and look out the windshield.

Up ahead, a giant black animal with a white stripe down its back comes sauntering out of the forest and stops at the edge of the road. As we get closer, I see that it looks like bear with a big bushy tail. Just as we are about to drive pass, the animal turns around and lifts its striped tail into the air.

SKUNK!!! I yell and dive to the floor, covering my face with my hands.

I can feel the bus still moving forward and it sounds like a blast from a firehose is straifing the side of the bus. An putrid smell washes over me.

I feel a hand on my shoulder so I open my eyes to see my friend kneeling next to me. He has no mouth or eyes, but somehow I can tell that he's smiling. My friend helps me to my feet without saying a word and walks me toward the back of the bus. I look out the back window and see the bear-skunk crossing the road into the corn field.

I walk to the front of the bus. The driver somehow smiles through his faceless head.

Up ahead of the bus, a much smaller bear-skunk emerges out of the forest. The skunk repeats the same motions as the bigger one, and I respond in the exact same way.

As I lie on the floor in a ball with my face covered. Even though the skunk is smaller and its liquid emission is audibly less than the first as it sprays the bus, the smell is much much worse.

Again I am brought to my feet by my friend and again I watch the skunk disappear into the corn field.

This cycle continues as a watch progressively smaller and yet smellier skunks emerge, spray the bus, and disappear.

The foul stench still lingered in my brain as I woke up just before the bus was sprayed by a teeny tiny bear-skunk.

Remember: this is only a dream...

I walk into a room filled with blinding white light. I shield my eyes and squint, trying to make out the dark blur in the center of the room. As the blur comes into focus, I see my friend sitting slumped in a chair, leaning on a desk table, with a gun to his head.

I rush towards him as I yell "NO! Don't!" but he sees me and cocks the gun, warning "Don't come any closer!" His eyes are tearful and his lips are quivering and I know he is serious.

I step back and say calmly, "You don't want to do this. You have so much to live for." He shakes his head, and his finger starts to squeeze the trigger. Before he can shoot himself, I pull out a gun of my own and point it at my head.

I say "If you don't care about your own life, then at least consider MY life. If you go, I go."

He relaxes his trigger finger for a moment, but begins to squeeze the trigger again as he says "This is the only way to make it stop."

I turn my gun away from my head and point it at my friend's face. I warn him, "I won't let you do this. I'll shoot you myself, before I sit here and watch you shoot yourself."

He turns his gun away from his head and points it at me. I realize instantly that I've done a brilliantly stupid thing. "Shoot me," he pleads. "Shoot me, or I'll shoot you"

I ask my friend the question that I should've asked from the start, "Why do you want to shoot yourself?"

"I don't want to dream," he screams. "If I don't shoot myself, I will eventually fall asleep, and then I'm going to dream. I hate dreaming. I only have nightmares and I can't take it anymore." He begins to sob.

I reassure my friend, "I will dream for you. You will never have to dream again because I will dream for us both."

I suddenly become aware that I am dreaming and I wake up momentarily. I tell myself, "I must go back to sleep and dream" and so I do. I dream for us both.

Remember: this is only a dream...

I'm sitting in the passenger seat of a car, but there is a steering wheel in front of me. My friend is sitting to my left, inbetween the driver's seat and my seat, with the gearshift sticking up between his legs. My friend's girlfriend is sitting to his left in the driver's seat. There is a steering wheel in front of her as well.

My friend frantically shifts gears up and down as his girlfriend blindly turns the steering wheel back and forth. Their movements seems to have no effect to the motion of the car, which speeds straight down a dark tunnel.

A voice behind me says "Maybe you should drive." I turn around to see a faceless man sitting in the backseat. He points to the steering wheel in front of me, which is motionless in my hands.

I turn the wheel a tiny bit to the left and the car spins around and around several times.
***
I woke up suddenly with the sound of screeching tires still ringing in my ears.

I had 2 different dreams last nite about being chased. In both dreams, I was being chased by law enforcement. In the first dream, I knew I had committed a crime and deserved to be chased by the cops, but in the other dream, I had no idea why they where trying to arrest me. The major difference between the dreams is that, in the second dream, I am me, Josh Morgan, as I usually am in my dreams... I'm just in a situation very unlike my waking life. In the first dream, though, I am not ME for most of the dream. I am someone else completely. I have a twin in the dream, and I'm young, and I'm a car thief.

1) I'm watching TV. There's a news report about President Bush signing a bill that puts a federal ban on live broadcasts of police chases. On TV, Bush says, "I'm doing this so that tragedies like the one in Los Angeles involving those twin teenaged boys will never happen again." The news then rolls footage of a stolen car careening off the freeway, flipping over and over, and ejecting twin boys thru the windshield, who appear to be crushed by the car as it continues to roll over.

Suddenly, I'm no longer watching this all on TV, but instead, I am in the moment... I AM one of the twins as the car rolls over us. I feel the crushing weight of the car and scream in pain, but when the car rolls off of us, my twin and I are alive. We're hurt badly, but we can hear the sirens of the cops that had been chasing us on the freeway and we still want to get away, so we stand up, despite our broken bones and begin to run. The faster we run, the less our injuries seem to bother us. We run into a field where there is some sort of extreme motocross sporting event going on. Guys on motorcycles and ATVs are doing stunts and flips on giant ramps and halfpipes. My twin and I steal two unattended ATVs just as the copcars close in on us. We drive the ATVs around the field, up the ramps and on the halfpipes until we crash into each other mid-jump on a ramp. We're both hurt in the crash, but my twin and I manage to steal a motorcycle, and the two of us ride off, still being chased by the copcars. We ride the motorcycle away from the motocross stuff into a wide open field, but our escape route is blocked by a giant barbed-wire fence. In a very Great Escape kind of stunt, my twin tells me to jump the fence on the motorcycle, so I gun it. The bike catches major air, but not enough to clear the fence, so we crash into it and get tangled in the barbwire. The last thing I remember in the dream are the cops climbing up the fence towards us as my twin and I are dangling upside-down and bloody 50 feet in the air.

Read more »

I had many different dreams last nite cuz I kept waking up. The dreams were very vivid, but they went by really fast and they always ended rather abruptly. These are a few I remember:

1) I'm leading a team of soldiers in a strike against a compound of evil robots (Ya I know that sounds totally stupid, but that's what my dream was about). We gun down all the guard robots surrounding the compound (which kinda looks like the bunker thing on Endor in Return of the Jedi), and just as we are about to storm the entrance, a giant circuit board flies over us and blasts all of my soldiers. I'm the only one left alive so I blow up the entrance to the compound and storm in alone, where I'm surrounded by robots. I wake up before the robots kill me.

2) I'm watching a play at UCLA with my friends and our girlfriends. The play is "The Wizard of Oz", but all of the musical numbers have been replaced by U2 songs. During the first song, which is "Mysterious Ways" instead of "Somewhere over the Rainbow", my friends and most of the audience start complaining out loud about how horrible this play is. Before the song is over, most of the people in the theater have left. My guy friends say that they're leaving too, but my girlfriend wants to stay cuz one of her friends is in the play, so I tell my friends that I'm gonna stay and watch the rest with my girlfriend, but I'll walk them out of the theater. When we reach the lobby, there's a huge riotous food fight cuz the disgruntled theatergoers who decided to leave have stampeded the tables of food for the reception after the show. My friends and I push our way through the crowd out the theater, where I say goodbye and then push my way back inside. By the time I sit back down next to girlfriend, I'm covered in food. My girlfriend and her friends start picking the food off of my and eating while they watch the play, which just gets worse and worse. Some frat-type guy in the row behind me yells "This sucks!!!" so I turn around to tell him to sit down and shut up, but as I make eye contact with him, I wake up.

3) I'm in a news helicopter flying outside the balcony of a celebrity, who has just been found mutilated in her suite in a highrise complex. For some reason King Kong is climbing the building. He has nothing to do with the crime inside and people actually seem to be ignoring the giant ape. The reporter and camera man in the helicopter are shouting at Kong to get out of the way of their shot into the celebrity's apartment. I jump out of the helicopter onto King Kong, and ride on his back to the top of the building. I look out over Los Angeles in all directions. The helicopter whizzes by me, points its spotlight in my face and I wake up.

4) I'm being chased on foot by biker skinheads who are trying to kill me. I don't know why they're chasing me cuz this dream just starts with me running away from them in some unfamiliar neighborhood. I jump over a fence into some stranger's backyard. The skinheads are too fat to follow me over the fence so they try to break down the fence. I crawl through the doggie-door into the stranger's house. I don't see anyone inside the house, but there's a dog (some kind of nauseatingly cute white curly-haired terrier looking little shit). The dog doesn't bark or make any noise. It seems to like me and wants to play, but I'm too busy trying to find the front door so I can get the hell out of there before the homeowner or the psycho bikers find me. I run from room to room, the little dog in tow, but the house is a seemingly never ending maze of bedrooms. After much running around, I stop dead in my tracks when I enter a bedroom where a middle-aged woman is sleeping on an enormous bed. Neither the dog nor I make any sound, but the woman suddenly wakes, as if she can sense that I am in the room. The woman starts yelling at me to get out of her house and I try to explain that I've taken refuge in her house from psycho biker skinheads who are trying to kill me. She doesn't care why I'm in her house, she just wants me out. She grabs the lamp by her bed and charges at me swinging the lamp. I run. The dog runs ahead of me, and each time I have to choose between more than one door, the dog stands in one of the doorways and barks, as if he's calling me thru the right door. I follow the dog thru the house as the woman chases me throwing whatever she can grab. I just keep saying "I'm sorry!" to the woman and finally the dog leads me into a long hallway with an open door at the end. I run towards the door, but I wake up before I go thru it.

If television has ever taught me anything, it's that the naked dream seems pretty universal. Last nite i had a dream where i wasn't entire naked, but i was definitely exposed enough to elicit embarrassment all 'round. Actually, my dream was kind of a combination of the typical naked dream and the real-life embarrassment of discovering that your zipper has been down for a really long time but nobody told you.

Remember: this is only a dream...

I'm hanging out with my friends in a very public place when i look down and discover that i'm hanging out in more ways than one.

My friends all laugh as i spend the rest of the dream running around trying to find everyone that i'd interacted with earlier so that i can apologize to them and explain that i'm not some freak who like exposing himself. The typical response is something like "how the hell didn't you noticed that your fly was down and things were hanging out?!?"

The harder i try to explain, the more i am digging myself a deeper hole of embarrassment.

I really had to pee when i woke up.

I had a dream last nite that i can't really explain in detail cuz of what happens in the dream. It wasn't X-rated or anything (probably PG at most), but it was the kind of dream that anyone familiar with the name "Freud" would be able to read between the lines of the dream (and anyone with an actual understanding of psychoanalysis would probably find reasons for concern about my mental health).

Since i can't really give details, i'll just list the key ingredients of my dream (in no particular order so as to avoid any suggestion of a causal relationship between things):

Setting: My apartment

Participants: 2 male friends, 1 female friend, Me

Props: couch, TV, stove, bed, fire, oven, door peephole, fire extinguisher, beverages, some sort of applesuace-like substance

Actions: waking from a nap, losing motor skills, panicking, cooking, laughing, forgetting

In my dream, all that adds up to a recipe for disaster/embarrassment/acrimony/death

just had a dream about the party from hell...

I'm at a house party thrown by a friend from my waking life, but the host isn't there cuz they had a family emergency but they insisted everyone to stay at the party and have a good time. Try as i may, i am not having a good time. In addition to beer, all the guests are served a can of pork and beans, but it seems that i am the only one who, out of politeness, tries to eat the beans and it appears that everyone else notices this. The beans don't actually have the flatulent effect on me that everyone else is worried about, but everyone assumes the worst of me cuz the apartment already smelled wicked before i got there.

To make things more embarrassing for me, the party is almost entirely populated by cute girls that i have been acquainted with (rather than friends with) in my waking life (from high school mostly) but I had been too shy or out of league back then to ever attempt to become friends with them. To compensate for my prior shyness, I make an effort to talk to every girl at the party. I say "hi", shake their hand (apologizing each time that my hand is cold and wet from holding a beer) and ask them how they've been since the last time I'd seen them (usually 5 or 6 years or more). Each time, however, the girl is a bit shocked that I know who they are because they can't remember me at all.

Read more »

Another nite of episodic dreams, but they were all borderline nitemares and just kinda ended when they got too weird:

Remember: this is only a dream...

1) A friend of mine i've known since middle school is visiting my parents house, and as i give him a tour of the house, i'm asking him questions about married life (he recently married in real life). When we reach my parents' room, my friend jumps up on the bed and there's a crunching sound of breaking glass. My friend screams in pain. I look and he's landed on a pile of lightbulbs that were lying on the bed. My dad rushes in and is pissed that my friend broke his lightbulbs, which range from softball size to teeny tiny little bulbs the size of BBs. I start yelling at my dad and demand to know "What kind of idiot keeps lightbulbs on a bed?" Neither of us pay any attention to my friend, who keeps screaming and rolling around as he bleeds.

2) I'm in bed and i wake up (in my dream, not from my dream). The pillow by my face is wet. I sit up and see that water is seeping from the pillow. The water is brown and smells bad. I pull the sheets to my face, but the sheets start seeping water too. I throw off the sheets and try to get off the bed, but the mattress is so sopping wet that it sloshes me around like a water bed. My clothes start seeping the brown, stank water. I scream.

3) I gather my family around and show them a projected animated film that i've made. The characters are all obviously based on my family members, and though i think the animation is funny, my family is insulted and they all start yelling at me. The film catches fire and my family keeps yelling at me.

4) I'm at the dorms in UCLA and the local radio station has staged a competition between the dorms. The game is a deathmatch in helicopters. Each dorm gets to pick a pilot and a gunner, and while everyone else gathers in a quad (which doesn't really exist like it did in my dream), the helicopters shoot each other down in teh sky above us. When i realize what's going on, i run around trying to warn everyone how crazy and dangerous this whole thing is, but before anyone listens to me, helicopters start exploding in the sky and crashing down on the audience below. Basically, it's just panic as shrapnel and bodies fly. The radio station that's organized the event is broadcasting thru speakers that can be heard over the explosions and screaming, and the DJ's are just laughing at how "funny college life is".

Last nite's dreams were a series of many unrelated vignettes. Most of the dreams happened very quickly, with events passing so fast that i rarely had time to figure out what was going on. Here are some of the episodes from my dream that i remember:

1) I'm driving my mom's minivan and I'm stopped at a light when the driver of the old school VW bug in front of me gets distracted by something and he accidentally rolls back into my van with a loud CRASH. An argument, a fist fight, and an exploding gas station ensue.

2) My roommate, Kurt, grows a crazy beard that makes him look like a bum. The beard itself is very well kept, but since it's so long, and his clothes aren't the nicest, people on the street are constantly mistaking him for a bum. Fed up, he keeps the beard, but tries dressing differently. When he buys himself a snazzy blue suit, he is mistaken for some crazy artist celebrity and somehow marries into the British Royal Family, all cuz of his beard.

3) I return home to discover that my landlord has repainted my apartment without warning me ahead of time. The color is a horrible vomit hue, and the paint job itself is laughable. The painters didn't even bother to move or cover anything in my apt. They just painted around the furniture, posters, etc, so there are huge spots left unpainted on the walls, and paint splattered all over my stuff. (I was so mad i actually woke up from this dream and fumed for a bit before going back to sleep).

4) I am on a hiking trip with a beautiful women (who's not my girlfriend... sorry babe, it happens). We want to hike to the top of a volcano, but the park ranger at the bottom of the mountain won't let us on the trail cuz he says it's too dangerous. While i try to convince the ranger that we're both experienced hikers, my lady friend performs a hypnotic striptease that lulls the park ranger into a stupor. The girl suggests that we bring the ranger with us on our hike to the top of the volcano and use him as a human sacrifice. I agree and so we head up the mountain trail, her, half-naked, and me, carrying a park ranger. (Too bad this dream shifted into something else before we made it to the top of the volcano... i really liked where it was going)