Stewie Griffin: The Untold Story!
2005

You know what really grinds my gears? Being disappointed by something that I've been waiting for a long time... something that should be really freakin' sweet, but instead is really fucking lame.

The newest season of Family Guy has been awesome. Sure, each episode is just a series of raunchy jokes and random culture references strung along a ludicrous plotline, but they're 22 minutes of rapidfire gags that make me laugh so hard that I shoot milk out of my nose.

Sadly, the direct-to-video Family Guy movie, Stewie Griffin: The Untold Story!, just lacks the breakneck pacing of the TV show to carry a full 90 minutes. Timing is everything, especially in comedy and in animation, and while the comedy is raunchier and the animation has slightly better production values, the timing of both are way off.

And the plot is just plain lame. It might've worked as a single TV episode, but it seems like Seth MacFarlane and his crew stretched one episode plot into three, and then slapped them together into a feature-length movie just so they could say "FUCK" with the being . I for one am a huge fan of profanity. I fucking love cussing. But hearing the Family Guy characters say "FUCK," especially Stewie, just doesn't seem justified in the context of the movie. One of the most groundbreaking aspects of the TV series is how blatantly they dance around the censors, but when they are uncensored, it just doesn't feel right.

Maybe I'm being too hard on the FG movie. Maybe my expectations were just too high. Maybe I'll enjoy it more when the DVD officially comes out in September, which I'll still prolly buy despite my disappointment.