[illustration by Mike Mitchell @ sirmikeofmitchell.com]

Conan's press release:

People of Earth:

In the last few days, I’ve been getting a lot of sympathy calls, and I want to start by making it clear that no one should waste a second feeling sorry for me. For 17 years, I’ve been getting paid to do what I love most and, in a world with real problems, I’ve been absurdly lucky. That said, I’ve been suddenly put in a very public predicament and my bosses are demanding an immediate decision.

Six years ago, I signed a contract with NBC to take over “The Tonight Show” in June of 2009. Like a lot of us, I grew up watching Johnny Carson every night and the chance to one day sit in that chair has meant everything to me. I worked long and hard to get that opportunity, passed up far more lucrative offers, and since 2004, I have spent literally hundreds of hours thinking of ways to extend the franchise long into the future. It was my mistaken belief that, like my predecessor, I would have the benefit of some time and, just as important, some degree of ratings support from the prime-time schedule. Building a lasting audience at 11:30 is impossible without both.

But sadly, we were never given that chance. After only seven months, with my “Tonight Show” in its infancy, NBC has decided to react to their terrible difficulties in prime time by making a change in their long-established late night schedule.

Last Thursday, NBC executives told me they intended to move the “Tonight Show” to 12:05 to accommodate the “Jay Leno Show” at 11:35. For 60 years, the “Tonight Show” has aired immediately following the late local news. I sincerely believe that delaying the “Tonight Show” into the next day to accommodate another comedy program will seriously damage what I consider to be the greatest franchise in the history of broadcasting. The “Tonight Show” at 12:05 simply isn’t the “Tonight Show.” Also, if I accept this move I will be knocking the “Late Night” show, which I inherited from David Letterman and passed on to Jimmy Fallon, out of its long-held time slot. That would hurt the other NBC franchise that I love, and it would be unfair to Jimmy.

So it has come to this: I cannot express in words how much I enjoy hosting this program and what an enormous personal disappointment it is for me to consider losing it. My staff and I have worked unbelievably hard, and we are very proud of our contribution to the legacy of “The Tonight Show.” But I cannot participate in what I honestly believe is its destruction. Some people will make the argument that with DVRs and the Internet, a time slot doesn’t matter. But with the “Tonight Show,” I believe nothing could matter more.

There has been speculation about my going to another network but, to set the record straight, I currently have no other offer and honestly have no idea what happens next. My hope is that NBC and I can resolve this quickly so that my staff, crew, and I can do a show we can be proud of, for a company that values our work.

Have a great day and, for the record, I am truly sorry about my hair; it’s always been that way.

Yours,

Conan

A comment from a visitor to my blog posted a link to this cool new TV ad for Shane Acker's 9:

It's great to see Focus Features is giving 9 a good marketing blitz comparable to their other recent releases.

UPDATE: It turns out the comment was posted by Justin Boreta from the band The Glitch Mob, whose remix of the TV on the Radio song "Red Dress" is featured in the above 9 ad. I'm a huge fan of TVotR, and this TGM remix is very fitting for the ad. Thanks for the tip, Justin!

Barack Obama: 3
G.W. Bush, et al: 0

Actually, this chart conveniently leaves off Thomas Jefferson, who waged war against the "Barbary states", which supported pirates, so presumably pirates were killed because of Jefferson's actions.

Still, the rescue of Capt. Richard Phillips by US Navy SEAL snipers is clearly a victory for Obama that is rare among US Presidents.

I'm nearing my own birthday in a few days (the dreaded dirty thirty), but today, February 12th, is the 200th birthday of Charles Darwin, whose theory of evolution through natural selection is easily one of the greatest discoveries in the history of human knowledge.

In celebration of Darwin Day 2009, my fellow Americans should watch the Nova special about the debate surrounding evolution in America called Judgment Day: Intelligent Design on Trial on the PBS website. I especially recommend Chapter 6, which explains the difference between the common everyday use of the term "theory" (which implies unsupported "speculation") versus a scientific theory (which, according to the National Academy of Sciences, is "a well-substantiated explanation of some aspect of the natural world, based on a body of facts that have been repeatedly confirmed through observation and experiment"). Chapter 6 also presents one of the most compelling facts to support human evolution: the existence of vestigial centromeres and telomeres in Chromosome 2.

Sadly, 150 years after the first publication of Darwin's seminal book On the Origin of Species, many Americans still refuse to accept evolution as fact despite the (literally) mountains of evidence to support Darwin's theory. I spent last Thanksgiving arguing with a family friend who defiantly dismissed evolution as "just a theory" despite my futile attempts to educate her. She, like so many Americans, defies rationality and reason by subscribing to the so-called "Intelligent Design" theory, which is hardly a theory at all because it cannot be confirmed through observation and experiment nor can it make any predictions about the natural world. Evolution, however, has been confirmed over and over with each new piece of genetic and fossil evidence (e.g. Tiktaalik) and it can make accurate predictions about the natural world (i.e. Chromosome 2).

Happy Birthday Charles Darwin!!!

After posting a link to the "9" Trailer everywhere I could (this blog, my Facebook, my MySpace, etc) people have been asking me what those songs are in the trailer. I was a bit curious myself because I honestly didn't recognize the songs, so I considered asking Shane, but I decided to try out the iPhone apps that identify songs played into the mic.

I already had both of the iPhone apps available, Shazam and Midomi so I decided to try Shazam first, because I'd already tested out Midomi and I'd recently seen Shazam in an iPhone commercial. I tried 3 times but Shazam failed to identify the ambient music at the beginning of the trailer, possibly because there was only 3 long sustained notes before Martin Landau's narration starts (I made sure to stop short of the narration since it's obviously not part of the original song). Shazam said that the song was "unrecognized" on the first 2 attempts and on the 3rd try it misidentified the song as "Ich Bin Nich' Ich" by Tokio Hotel (horrible song btw).

Shazam had no trouble recognizing the thrashing metals guitars from the action part at the middle of the trailer, nor the classical guitar at the end of the trailer, and it correctly identified both bits of music as the same song, "Welcome Home" by Coheed and Cambria.

I still wanted to know what the ambient song was at the beginning of the trailer so I gave Midomi a try. I'd used Midomi several times before to identify songs that were in my head because Midomi can also recognize songs that are sung or hummed (Shazam only works with original recordings played into the mic). Midomi not only recognized "Welcome Home" but it also correctly identified the ambient song on the first try as "The Captain" by The Knife.

So there you have it, the songs in the "9" trailer are:

• "The Captain" by The Knife
• "Welcome Home" by Coheed and Cambria

It's funny cuz when I first saw the trailer at Shane's place, I told him I honestly thought the music was really cheesy. But after watching it many times, I have to admit that the music is very fitting for the energy of the trailer. It builds an excitement that will hopefully sustain until the movie is released on 9/9/09 (also a tad cheesy and yet so perfectly fitting). Seriously, I'm so ing excited, I'm shaking.

I played Wii Fit today for the first time in 150 days and I think the Balance Board feels neglected:

And yes, that's a SpongeBob SquarePants, a Baby Jesus Butt Plug and a Maromi plush on top of my TV. And no, the Baby Jesus Butt Plug has never been "used" because it was a gift from a friend (who shall remain anonymous [merely to create mystery]) and it makes a nice covertly subversive decoration.

WWBJBPD?!

A star-studded cast turns out for Marc Shaiman's "Prop 8 - The Musical" from FunnyOrDie.com.

This musical not only exposes the hypocrisy of homophobic Bible-thumpers who "pick-and-choose" which verses to obey, but it also makes an economic argument in favor of gay marriage.

It stars John C. Reilly, Neil Patrick Harris, Andy Richter, Margaret Cho, Rashida Jones, Sarah Chalke, Maya Rudolph, Craig Robinson, and Jack Black as "Jesus H. Tap-dancing Christ."

Also starring Jordan Ballard, Barrett Foa, J.B. Ghuman, John Hill, Rashad Naylor, Nicole Parker, Allison Janney, Kathy Najimy, Jenifer Lewis, Lake Bell, Katharine "Kooks" Leonard, Seth Morris, Denise "Esi!" Piane, Lucian Piane, Richard Read, Seth Redford, Quinton Strack, Tate Taylor

"Abomination!"... "Obama Nation!"

Happy Buy Nothing Day (aka Black Friday aka Trample Store Employees to Death Just to Save a Few @#$%ing Bucks Day).

People did not stop to help the employee as he lay on the ground, and they pushed against other Wal-Mart workers who were trying to aid Mr. Damour. The crowd kept running into the store even after the police arrived, jostling and pushing officers who were trying to perform CPR, the police said.

...

The police said that three other shoppers were injured and a 28-year-old woman who was eight months pregnant was taken to the hospital for observation.

I've been having car trouble recently so my '92 Ford Taurus is spending tonight at an auto shop. Hopefully the news won't be too bad / expensive when they call me in the morning to tell me what's wrong with it. I also hope they'll be able to fix it before the holiday.

The car has already had major service several times during the 3 years that I've had it, which is to be expected for a car that is almost 17 years old. I'm reluctant to invest anymore money into fixing it up, but I really can't afford a new car right now, even another used car, and the engine doesn't really have that many miles for its age.

It's funny, when the guy at the auto shop was checking the odometer, he was confused by the fact that it seemed to missing a digit. He asked me, "does this thing have 13,000 miles on it or or does that say 130,000 miles?" I replied, "the odometer only goes up to 99,999.9 and it's already rolled over so it's actually 113,000 miles." The repair guy shrugged and said "that's weird" to which I added "that shows Ford's confidence in their product to not even last over 100,000 miles."

The forecast for tomorrow predicts it will still be raining so I'll probably get wet when I have to walk back over to the auto shop to pick up my car. I won't mind though because I really do like walking in the rain. Of course, if I can't afford to fix my car, I'll probably be walking a lot more rain or shine whether I like it or not...

---
Mood:
Currently listening to:
the sound of raindrops on our skylight and 11:11 by Regina Spektor

Sometime between when I first checked my email this morning and when checked it just now this afternoon, I noticed that Gmail looked kinda different. Then I saw the announcement at the top about "New! Colors and themes" in the Settings. After trying a few themes in the top row, I quickly spotted the "Ninja" theme at the end of the themes list. Now I can't help but smile and think "Holy crap! Ninjas invaded my Gmail!!!" every time I check my email...

I especially love the little red Shuriken (ninja stars) that replace the "Starred" icons.

There are many other themes, some based on simple color schemes, some with adorably cute characters (Sam really likes the Zoozimps theme but she is super jealous because she doesn't have the themes yet) and there are several "natural" themes that apparently change according to the time of day and the weather of your location. My inner nerd wanted to go with the "Terminal" theme but the bloodthirsty assassin in me lopped off the geek's head with a swift katana chop and so I'm sticking with the Ninjas:

Read more about the Gmail Themes over at the Official Gmail Blog.

UPDATE: Nov. 20, 2008

I didn't notice it yesterday but it appears that even the Ninja theme is dynamic, possibly changing throughout the day like the nature-based themes. At the footer of individual email messages there is a ninja and his little geisha lady friend doing various activities.

This morning they were greeting each other like this:

By late afternoon the vs Monsterninja and the geisha had both put on considerable weight and they were dressed up as sumo:

And right around 6:00pm PST the ninja and the geisha sat down for dinner:

There are probably more activities that the ninja and the geisha do throughout the day so I'll just have to keep checking. Hmm, I wonder what they do together around bedtime...

UPDATE #2: Nov. 21, 2008

Apparently night time is fight time for the ninja and the geisha.

Last night they were fighting each other:

And tonight they were fighting a monster (dragon maybe?):

At first I thought it looked like the ninja was of the monster and that he was hiding behind the geisha but then I remembered that ninjas are badasses and I realized that the ninja was really just working up a sweat as he tried to feed the geisha's fat ass to the monster.

UPDATE #3: Nov. 22, 2008

I've been keeping an eye out for it after a visitor named Kiran commented yesterday that they'd seen the ninja and the geisha having tea, and even though I thought "tea time" was more like 4pm, right around 2pm today I saw this:

Speaking of tea, Sam FINALLY got Gmail Themes early yesterday and she's using the "Tea House" theme, which also has an Asian-style Gmail logo like the Ninja theme.

UPDATE #4: Nov. 23, 2008

I pulled an all-nighter last nite working on a project for a friend so I was actually awake at dawn to witness the ninja and the geisha spend their early morning cleaning house:

I guess their place gets pretty messy after a long night of fighting monsters and each other. And then around 8am the ninja tried to make nice with the geisha by offering her some flowers:

I doubt a badass assassin like the ninja would give the geisha flowers "just because" so I wonder if he is apologizing for whatever it is that he does every night that sparks a fight. Or maybe he was practicing his mad katana skillz on some wild flowers and after a few chops he realized that he can use the flowers to lull the geisha into a false sense of security so that he can practice his slicing action on her neck...

And seems like the flowers worked their charm because tonight the ninja and the geisha were rocking out with a little after-dinner jam session of Shamisen Hero: World Tour (for Wii, of course):

Then later, the ninja lit the lantern to set some mood lighting while the geisha got naked in the tub:

Hmm, I wonder what they're gonna do next...

UPDATE #5: Dec. 04, 2008

I haven't seen anything new that the Ninja and the Geisha do together since my last update, but I finally noticed something that the Ninja does by himself (no, not THAT) that has probably been there since Gmail first launched the Themes. I probably wouldn't have ever noticed if I hadn't read this blog post (Spanish) by Enma Ai, who left me a comment today. Enma had posted an image of the Ninja with a scroll and a brush that I hadn't seen before so when I went to email her to ask where she had seen it, there was the Ninja sitting with a scroll and brush to the right of the "Compose Mail" window:

I probably hadn't noticed it before because it only appears in the "Compose Mail" window, and not when I reply to an email. It's not that I don't ever email people. In fact, I email quite a lot, but apparently I just forward or reply to other people's emails instead of initiating the email conversations myself.